Long before the baby was born, my husband and I decided that after the first 4 months I would return to work and he would take paternity leave. It is not a common decision, but it is what makes the most sense for us right now.
As the date gets closer, I have very mixed emotions about going back, as I am sure most mothers do. Some days, in those quiet moments during the afternoon when it’s just the two of us, I wonder how I could possibly spend my days away from her. In those same quiet moments, I crave adult interactions and the mental stimulation that comes from being in the office.
I am already contemplating how things will change when I go back to work, not only will our routine at home completely change, but also how I manage my work day will need to change since I am hoping to continue breast feeding. Although it will be challenging, I am looking forward to going back to work. I am excited to have a reason to wear nice clothes and have a reason to do my hair. I am excited to get into a routine and define my new normal. I have always been very career driven and said that I do not want motherhood to be my only job so I am anxious and excited to figure out what that looks like.
Admitting that I am excited to get back to work is tough. Admitting my excitement brings on the mom guilt. Am I a bad mom because I want to work? Will I be able to shut it off when I get home and focus on my family outside of typical office hours? Will I be able to balance my desire to advance my career without missing the early milestones in my child’s life?